Synopsis
from the original Broadway production

ACT ONE:

The narrator introduces us to the town and its citizens. We're in
the main square which is crumbling before our very eyes. Vacancy signs are
up. Cracks appear. Walls tumble. The citizens are a sorry lot dressed in
rags.

The "Cookies," modestly dressed and orderly, march in singing their
childlike anthem, "I'm Like the Bluebird." They are inmates of the local
insane asylum.

The Townspeople, depressed by crop failures and bank failures,
demonstrate on the steps of City Hall and protest against Treasurer Cooley
who enters clutching greenbacks in his fists. The narrator points out the
characters as they appear: Cooley, Chief of Police Macgruder, Comptroller
Schub, and finally the Mayoress Cora Hoover Hooper.

The unruly crowd shouts curses at her, but she's oblivious of their
threats and launches into her song, "Me and My Town," while the suffering
citizens continue to boo her. An ensemble of boys backs her up through the
number, pandering to her every wish.

Comptroller Schub and Treasurer Cooley assess the town's depressed
state with Cora. She realizes she needs a miracle to survive. Schub has
come up with a hoax to save the town. They arrange to meet at the Rock as
soon as the Mayoress can change into a new costume and some fresh
jewelry.

Baby Joan ("a weird-looking little brat of 7 or 8") approaches the
Rock and starts licking it. It spurts water. The child's mother shouts,
"It's a miracle." Cora concurs. Water gushes and Cora proclaims "The
Miracle Song" as the moppet stands at the Rock like a plaster saint. The
Townspeople and Pilgrims from far and wide offer gifts to Baby
Joan--money, jewels, etc. which Treasurer Cooley eagerly collects.

The crowd, throughout the number, grows wilder and wilder, pushing
to the Rock, kissing the feet of Baby Joan, rolling on the ground, and
gradually a rainbow appears, flowers sprout, the buildings right
themselves, and prosperity is evident everywhere. It's boom time in the
township. It is a miracle!

The Rock revolves and we see its interior where Police Chief
Macgruder is operating the water pump. Cora comes in to urge him to keep
pumping. Prosperity is running rampant: the water's being bottled and sold
like hot cakes and plans are under way for life-size statues of Baby
Joan.

"I'm Like the Bluebird" is heard again as the Cookies from the
asylum march in led by Nurse Fay Apple. She's young. She's pretty. She's
suspicious. However she orders tickets for her Cookies to "take the water"
as a cure for her charges.

Comptroller Schub, in an aside to Treasurer Cooley, reasons that the
water will have no effect on the Cookies. They'll be as nutty after taking
the waters as they were before, and their scheme will be exposed. But
Nurse Apple insists on the tickets and delivers a dazzling diatribe at
high speed. Point one: reason vs. superstition. Point two: the Pilgrims
are being deceived; there are no "miracle waters" in the rock. Point
three: her Cookies are human and entitled like anyone to take the "cure"
of the waters if it's real. Moreover, if they are not allowed, she'll take
the case, not to the Mayoress for she knows the town's administration is
corrupt, but to the county, the state, the nation if need be, until she's
heard!

During her tirade the Cookies mingle among the Pilgrims and one
cannot be distinguished from the other. Confusion ensues. A chase. A
spotlight on Nurse Apple as everyone freezes in the chase as she breaks
into song ("There Won't Be Trumpets.") The song ends. The freeze ends. She
escapes.

With thunder, lightning, and trumpets J. Bowden Hapgood appears and
asks for directions to The Cookie Jar and is on his way.

Dr. Detmold, the psychiatrist from the asylum, arrives but cannot
differentiate between Cookies and Pilgrims. He refers the city
administrators to his new assistant who is due to arrive at any moment.
Hapgood is back and Detmold mistakes Hapgood for the new assistant. So he
leaves the problem of distinguishing Cookies from Pilgrims in the hands of
"Doctor" Hapgood.

Zany exchanges between Hapgood, Schub, and the Mayoress lead to a
bit of dancing, a bit of misunderstanding, and a bit of confusion in rapid
order. And how will Hapgood sift out the Cookies from the Pilgrims?
According to the principles of logic, of course, with the number that
concludes the first act: "Simple." The song explores "Who is what
and/Which is who?" and gradually turns into a nonsense game, each
character exchanging names and quoting bromides, while Hapgood assigns
each one to groups. Utter confusion reigns. While Cora (the Mayoress)
thinks it's all brilliant fun, Schub is bewildered by Pilgrims and Cookies
crossing from group to group.

Hapgood, in his interrogation, exposes Macgruder and Cooley and
Schub as frauds and by a process of deduction labels them as the crazy
ones. Everyone on stage is cheering and closing in on Cora who is tossed
about like a rag doll. Then, as the number ends, except for a spotlight on
Hapgood, the stage is dark. He addresses the theatre audience directly:
"You are all mad." Wild music! Lights! And suddenly as though a huge
mirror had descended, all the Pilgrims and Cookies are seated in rows of
theatre seats facing and applauding the audience as the curtain falls on
Act One.

ACT TWO:

Hapgood is treated like a hero by one and all as they sing the "A-l
March."

Fay Apple in disguise (feathers, dark glasses, a red wig and a thick
French accent) vamps Comptroller Schub and identifies herself as "Ze lady
from Lourdes," that she has been sent to investigate the miracle. Schub
makes a quick exit. The "Lady" then turns her charms on Hapgood.

Their flirtatious exchange is in French with English subtitles
flashing as though we were watching a French film. They sing "Come Play
Wiz Me." The scene shifts to Hapgood's bedroom. While he tries to seduce
her, she admits she is a nurse at the asylum trying to expose the
"miracle" of the healing waters from the Rock as a fake. He snatches the
wig off her head and Fay goes limp in his arms.

She earnestly levels with Hapgood about how she has always been the
embodiment of control and order until an affair with an intern when she
first wore the wig and costume--which now serve as reminders of her losing
control. Hapgood sees through her and says she really wants to believe the
waters could cure her Cookies. She confesses that she can't relax and "let
go," can't laugh, can't even whistle, and then delivers her philosophy of
being able to master all the challenging and difficult things in life but
not the easy ones: "Anyone Can Whistle." Lights fade on the scene.

Lights come up on the town square. A parade, placards, cheering for
Hapgood. Cora is ignored as she fruitlessly calls out to her voters
delivering "There's A Parade In Town" to an empty square. As the crowd
rushes in again they are still singing Hapgood's praises. Comptroller
Schub assures the Mayoress he'll find a plan to save their scheme.

As the marchers parade off, we see Hapgood and Fay in his bedroom in
each other's arms. Before she is about to leave "to charge City Hall" he
threatens to tear up the records of her 49 Cookies to set them free, but
she cries out "Don't" as Hapgood angrily protests with "Everybody Says
Don't" but ending with the admonition "I say don't/Don't be afraid." And
then he confesses to her that he is not "Doctor" Hapgood at all, just good
old everyday J. Bowden Hapgood... her 50th Cookie! He presents his
records: a professor, five degrees, 117 arrests, a "Pied Piper of
lunatics." He has endeared himself to Fay. She proceeds tearing up the
records of each of her Cookies, setting them free one by one in a ballet,
allowing them to be what they want to be. The ballet and the act end as
Fay and Hapgood rush into each other's arms.

ACT THREE

opens with Cora stretched out on a massage table getting a rub-down
by Schub, Cooley, Macgruder and one of her young dancing partners. After
some bickering, they agree to "cancel" the miracle by turning off the
water at the Rock. No miracle. No investigation by the Lady from Lourdes.
They marshal forces and sing "I've Got You To Lean On" in which they
decide to lay the blame for the failed miracle on Hapgood, concocting a
smear campaign against him.

News has spread throughout the town that the miracle of the water
from the Rock has ended. Crowds threaten Hapgood as he and Fay (still
disguised in her wig and costume) escape over the Rock.

Cora and her henchmen no sooner find the pair than a telegram
arrives from the governor threatening to impeach the Mayoress if the 49
Cookies are not locked up. All leave to start the round-up except Fay and
Hapgood. They argue about revealing the truth about the phony miracle.
Hapgood says the Townspeople have to have something to believe in. Fay
wants them to face the truth. She sings "See What It Gets You."

"The Cookie Chase" ballet follows with searchlights, police
whistles, and machine guns while innocent bystanders are arrested, placed
in straight-jackets, and anyone on the loose is netted and locked up in
cages--all of it danced to a mad waltz.

Fay joins the frantic ballet in her Lady from Lourdes costume.
Waltzing with Schub, she steals the key and unlocks the cages setting the
victims free again. The chase continues. Fay screams "Fire! Hurricane! Run
for your lives!"

Dr. Detmold, the administrator from the asylum, returns and
recognizes Fay as Nurse Apple. Cora rips off Fay's wig. Fay admits to
destroying the medical records on the Cookies and accuses the Mayoress and
her cronies of faking the miracle. The mob turns against Fay and Hapgood
comes to protect her.

Fay realizes she must identify the Cookies or innocent people will
be locked up. She recites the names in alphabetical order: Brecht, Freud,
Gandhi, et al. Quietly the Cookies sing "I'm Like the Bluebird" as they
are marched off. Fay and Hapgood are alone. She has not turned him in
because he and all the crazy people like him are the hope of the world.
She tells him "you're marvelous and crazy. I'm competent and practical...
." They're an impossible match for each other. They sing "With So Little
To Be Sure Of" and walk off in opposite directions, she back to her
position at the asylum, he back to the outside world.

Bells are ringing. Townspeople are rushing from the town square
toward the bells--to a new miracle in the next town. Even Chief Macgruder
and Treasurer Cooley join them to see the new miracle. "Off with the old!
On with the new!" Cora admits. She and Comptroller Schub decide on a new
scheme to "turn the whole damn town into a Cookie Jar!" They joyously
launch into a reprise of "I've Got You To Lean On."

Nurse Apple marches in with her Cookies. A new nurse arrives and
takes over leading the Cookies toward the new miracle, singing "I'm Like
The Bluebird" loud and clear.

Fay calls out to Hapgood. No answer. No sign of him. She places
fingers to her mouth and produces a piercing whistle. He appears laughing
and takes her in his arms. The Rock gushes and showers them with all the
colors of the rainbow as the final curtain falls.

Song List

a.. Overture
b.. Narrators Introduction
c.. I'm Like the Bluebird
d.. Me and My Town
e.. Miracle Introduction
f.. Miracle Song
g.. Simple
h.. A-1 March
i.. Come Play Wiz Me
j.. Anyone Can Whistle
k.. A Parade in Town
l.. Everybody Says Don't
m.. I've Got You to Lean On
n.. See What It Gets You
o.. The Cookie Chase
p.. With So Little to Be Sure Of
q.. Finale

Cut Songs
a.. The Lame, the Halt, and the Blind
b.. The Natives are Restless
c.. A Hero is Coming
d.. There Won't Be Trumpets
e.. There's Always a Woman